There’s a chill in the air, the leaves are falling and suddenly that guy in your math class you’ve never looked twice at is looking really cute. Of course, this has nothing to do with Thanksgiving right around the corner, which will feature choruses of “Are you dating anyone?” from well-meaning relatives you only see twice a year. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas and the idea of snuggling up with someone by the fire on a brutally cold Idaho night… right?
Experts and students seem to think otherwise. In an article from the Cleveland Clinic, psychologist Susan Albers explained that seasonal depression or SAD — Seasonal Affective Disorder — is a driving force for many people seeking relationships in the colder months.
“SAD intensifies feelings of being alone or blue and dating is often a healthier strategy of coping than pulling the covers over your head,” Albers said.
Albers went on to say that while this may be a healthy coping mechanism in some situations, the desire to get into a relationship often causes people to focus less on compatibility than they would otherwise. Making sure that person is the right fit feels significantly less important with the incoming holidays and dreary weather.
“The downside is that needing to be in a relationship right now often makes people lower their standards or expectations in a relationship. They are willing to be with people who are convenient and available versus those who truly match them,” Albers said.
Karyna Meiner, a junior at Boise State majoring in Business, believes there is a higher likelihood that individuals will enter into relationships in fall or winter.
“I feel like it’s the season of love, and then also it’s all the holidays coming up, so everyone kind of forces their way into one [a relationship],” Meiner said.
This concept of having more fun with someone because of external factors like season, activities or other forces is what I call ‘The Bachelor/Bachelorette effect.’ If your dates consist of inherently romantic activities, looking at Christmas lights, Valentine-centered dates, or couples costumes for Halloween parties, of course you’re going to think you hit it off.
But if all of that pomp and circumstance was stripped away… would that person still be a top contender for a partner?
Meiner suggests a need for body heat could be to blame for these festive flings.
“Especially here, it gets really cold, and everyone just wants that someone to cuddle up with,” Meiner said. “I’ve been hearing [about] cuffing season since I was in elementary school.”
Alondra Padilla, a junior majoring in Accounting at Boise State says she has been guilty of entering into a relationship around the holidays.
“My birthday lands in the fall, so yes, I have,” Padilla said. “And there’s a reason why, and that reason is because [of] the presents.”
Padilla shared some parting words of wisdom by stating: “Don’t go out with someone ugly just because it’s the holiday season.”
Gillian Ernest, a junior majoring in Nursing at Boise State agrees with the sentiment that cuffing season exists but isn’t so sure that it’s a successful endeavor for everyone.
“I think people want to [find someone],” Ernest said. “But I honestly don’t think it happens.”
Ernest said that gift-giving and quality time could be two factors that motivate people to find their Halloween costume partner or date for Valentine’s Day.
“I think it’s honestly because of the holidays and as Alondra was saying [the] presents,” Ernest said. “Also the holiday activities that you don’t want to do by yourself.”
Aiden Thayer, a sophomore at Boise State majoring in Kinesiology believes that family pressure or expectations are a major reason why people force relationships around the holidays.
“Depending on if your family expects you to be with someone, or if your family is like ‘Hey do you have a boyfriend or do you have a girlfriend yet?’” Thayer said. “Then you kind of feel pressure[d] to. If you get together with them at Thanksgiving or Christmas … you kind of want to bring someone.”
While the pressure from relatives to show up with a partner around the holidays can be intense, consider that it’s mostly coming from generations who fast-track relationships. Gen Z has been notable as a generation for the way its members take their time in love — and that’s a good thing.
The moral of the story: an impending holiday doesn’t make someone automatically right for you. If you happen to find your person in the coming months, may we all be so lucky. But if you don’t, host a “Friendsgiving”, spend some time with your loved ones and don’t fall prey to the cuffing season propaganda — or maybe do if you want those presents.
