Modern dating is, quite frankly, exhausting. As a young adult in the era of dating apps, “situationships” and hookups, I quickly reached my breaking point, and so has much of Gen Z. Younger generations are getting off dating apps, popularizing celibacy and overall rejecting the culture of casual sex that has become normalized in modern society — but why?
While the term “hookup culture” wasn’t established until the early 2000s, hookup culture itself originated well before the 21st century, according to the American Psychological Association. Casual sex became more frequent during the 1920s due to public access to automobiles and new entertainment options, allowing young adults to explore their sexuality outside the home. This society-wide sexual liberation continued during the 1960s with the rise of feminism, birth control and co-ed college parties.
Presently, in the 21st century, hookup culture has become almost entirely normalized, driven by influences such as popular culture, modern media, and even dating apps. Modern pop culture is a major influence on hookup culture, with frequent portrayals of casual sex in music, television and social media. HBO’s “Euphoria”, for instance, depicts a number of high schoolers engaging in casual sex, normalizing and even glamorizing the behavior.
Dating apps have been another proponent of casual relationships, as evident in an ad campaign ran in May 2024 by popular dating app Bumble. The company ran a series of ads addressing the phenomenon of celibacy that has swept younger generations, with one viral billboard reading “You know full well a vow of celibacy is not the answer” and another stating “Thou shalt not give up dating and become a nun.”
After receiving extreme backlash for their ad campaign, Bumble released a statement on their Instagram account apologizing for the ad campaign, saying that “our ads referencing celibacy were an attempt to lean into a community frustrated by modern dating, and instead of bringing joy and humor, we unintentionally did the opposite.” Bumble’s marketing team was correct, society is indeed frustrated by modern dating, but Gen Z is finding its own solution.
Younger generations’ unhappiness with hookup culture can be traced to a few key issues with hookup culture. Not only does society’s casual relationship with sex promote instant physical gratification over a genuine connection, making it difficult to form substantial relationships, but hookup culture can also perpetuate issues with lack of communication about consent, emotional health and safe sex practices, increasing the risk of harm to mental health and sexually transmitted infections.
Due to these issues, many members of Gen Z are rejecting hookup culture, prioritizing meaningful connection and emotional intimacy over casual encounters. Younger people are overall having less sex, using dating apps less, and are even making a form of celibacy — “boy sobriety” — a social media trend.
Gen Z is statistically having less sex than older generations. The CDC’s most recent National Youth Risk Behavior Survey reported that only 30% of high school students said they had ever had sex, down from 38% in 2019. The Administration for Children and Families found in a 2020 report that reported sexual activity among youth has declined over recent decades, reaching its lowest point since the early 1990s. In the past decade, this decline has been most significant, with 60% of sexually experienced youth wishing they had waited longer.
Gen Z is also utilizing dating apps less than older generations, likely due to their inherently shallow appearance-based nature, as well as the casual relationships that are so commonly formed on those apps. According to an Axios/Generation Lab survey of college students in the United States, 79% of responders use dating apps less frequently than once a month. Statista data additionally reveals that while the 30-49 age group makes up 61% of dating app users, people aged 18-29 make up only 26% of these apps’ user bases. Although Gen Z has grown up in the era of online dating, they are utilizing these platforms far less than older generations.
Young people, particularly women, have even gone so far as to bring back celibacy and repopularize it in the form of “boysobriety”. As of July 2024, #boysober has been used in over 20.1 million posts on TikTok. Discussed and practiced by popular content creators, the trend involves taking a period of time to oneself, meaning no crushes, exes, situationships, hookups or anything in between. To replace these interactions, people on their boysober journey are working to prioritize platonic connection and intentional relationships.
Gen Z’s reinvention of celibacy through boysobriety is a clear example of young people’s refusal to participate in hookup culture. Modern dating, plagued by situationships, hookups and dating apps, has left many burnt out and disappointed.
The issues with hookup culture, such as the prioritization of instant physical gratification and the potential for lack of communication about consent and emotional health, have led many young people to seek alternatives to the current modern dating situation. As a result, trends like “boysobriety” and decreased dating app usage reflect a broader shift towards valuing deeper, more intentional relationships. This changing mentality indicates a cultural shift surrounding casual sex, and towards a renewed emphasis on genuine connection and emotional wellbeing.
