My life is a movie: the potential for toxicity in popular lifestyle trends

If you search #RomanticizeLife on TikTok, you’ll see thousands of videos of people doing their perfect morning routine, running in the rain and sitting in cafes with headphones on. The “romanticize your life” trend gained popularity in 2020 after TikTok user @ashlaward uploaded a sound beginning with the sentence “You have to start romanticizing your life.” 

People began posting montages of the beauty they found in their everyday life such as views in nature, making their morning matcha in a pretty glass or studying with cute stationery and supplies. An article from the New York Times says that the trend “asks us to appreciate what we have right in front of us and to live with intention, no matter how mundane our daily rituals might be.” 

The “main character energy” trend began in the same period of time, pushing people to do what makes them happy and pursue their goals with the mentality of being the protagonist in their own life’s story. Videos with “#MainCharacter” often features people displaying self-confidence, remaining unbothered by the public eye and celebrating individualism. 

There are absolutely benefits to employing both of these trends in everyday life. Finding the beauty in the small things in daily routines and developing self-confidence outside of what others might think are very good things. Adopting these mentalities can allow people to enjoy the mundane, prioritize their wellness and work towards their goals. 

However, there is the potential for toxicity within both the “romanticize your life” and “main character energy” trends. Unrealistic expectations for life, materialism, individualism to an unhealthy degree and only acting a certain way to post online are all risks to participating in these trends. 

While “romanticizing your life” initially was intended to push people to find beauty in the mundane and appreciate their day-to-day life, the trend has shifted towards materialism and performing for the public eye. 

The trend’s beginning on social media inherently poses problems for those who want to participate. In Emma Chamberlain’s podcast episode titled “‘romanticizing’ your life”, she addresses this issue, saying, “Am I doing this for just the camera or am I doing this just for me? Would I be doing this anyway?”

There is a fine line between documenting the beauty in the mundane and posting it to inspire others vs. only “romanticizing life” for the sake of posting about it. 

Another issue this trend can create is the pressure to have a perfectly aesthetically pleasing life all of the time. Real life often isn’t pretty. While there are benefits to seeking out what is beautiful in life, trying to romanticize every aspect of life isn’t realistic. Life isn’t going to be a movie montage at all times – it’s normal for there to be completely mundane and even ugly moments. 

Aside from the mental burnout that people may face trying to make every aspect of their life aesthetic or romantic, there is also the issue of rampant materialism within the trend. 

Being largely based on the physical appearance of day-to-day routines, videos tagged with #romanticizinglife often feature expensive skin care products or clothes with a hefty price tag. This can lead people to feel that they need to buy things to truly romanticize their life, rather than seeing the beauty in what they already have and creating routines that feel romantic to them. 

The “main character energy” trend poses its own problems. Although it’s healthy to prioritize yourself, your goals and your happiness, seeing yourself as the protagonist can lead to a person to have an idealized self image in which everyone else is a supporting character and the world revolves around them. 

It can be difficult to differentiate between being the main character in your own story and being the main character in everyone’s story, a situation which has led to another popular tag on TikTok:  #MainCharacterSyndrome. Psychology Today defines the term as “when somebody presents, or imagines, themself as the lead in a sort of fictional version of their life … and presents that “life” through social media.”

People with “main character syndrome” have little regard for the world around them, and are constantly engaged in attention-seeking behavior. This narcissistic mentality is easy to spot in other people, but it may be harder to see in yourself if you truly believe you are the main character and everything else is background. 

Even though all these risks exist within the “romanticizing your life” and “main character energy” trends, it is still possible to employ aspects of both without these issues arising. Without losing sight of reality, embrace the beautiful moments in the life you already live and prioritize your own happiness, pursuing your dreams while still maintaining empathy for the people around you.

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