Jake’s song of the day:
Old people are so nice. They tell stories about their experiences in life, how they met loved ones, and they’re all just so cute! However, there’s some old people who are just plain cranky, confused, and just plain rude. Most people can’t help but ask themselves, “Why, old person? Why do you have to be so mean? Is it because I am not old?” Why are some old people so cranky? Well, the world may never know.
In this particular story, violence is taken on whole new level and it all takes place in the mind of an old man living in the year 2052. Bryton Pear, age 71, lives in a small Retirement Home in a small rural town. Bryton spent most of his life as a thief, a con man, and a house burglar. He was never really good at anything, until he started his career as a criminal. If it weren’t for his talent in performing criminal acts, Bryton wouldn’t have been able to retire in the first place.
Two certified nurses were walking down opposite directions in the longest hallway of the vicinity and once they approached one another, one nurse said, “Hey, Pam, what was the time limit for the residents’ showers today?”
Nurse Pam, who appeared much younger than the other nurse, took a look at the clipboard she was holding. “Um… forty-five minutes flat. Why do you ask, Heather?”
“Oh man, looks like I owe Mr. Pear a bedtime story, tonight.”
“Story time?” Pam looked puzzled.
“I tell Bryton bedtime stories before he goes to sleep once every other week,” Heather replied. “I made a bet with him with the today’s shower times and if he won, in which he did, he would get another bedtime story this week. He’s such an interesting man.”
Pam scoffed. “I always catch him staring at my ass. He’s an old pervert.”
“Oh, hush now, Pam. I’ll see you later.”
“See ya.” The two nurses parted ways, walking in the opposite direction like the way they had been before. Nurse Heather wandered her way to Bryton’s room and lightly knocked on the door. It was nighttime and the entire building was silent, followed by the faint sound of falling rain. Once Heather had knocked on Bryton’s door, Bryton replied immediately. “Come on in, Nurse.”
Heather quietly opened the door and stepped inside Bryton’s quiet room, only to see Bryton himself sitting in an antique chair, facing his bedroom window. He was calmly eating an apple, as he gazed at the wet forest which lay on the other side of his window.
“Bedtime story, already?” Bryton asked calmly.
“Indeed, Mr. Pear,” Heather said with a smile. “Would you like me to help you out of your chair?”
Bryton didn’t look at her, just continued staring at the window, eating his scrumptious red apple, as he rocked his chair back and forth. “Nah, just give me my blanket. I look to look at the forest.” Heather smiled as she took Bryton’s blanket off his bed and gently wrapped it around him. Bryon smiled, also. “Mmm, this is my favorite blanket.”
“It’s a nice blanket, Mr. Pear. How is your evening?”
Heather had pulled up an extra chair, next to the old man, before he answered. “It was quiet. Not like usual.”
“I guess the light rain put all the residents at ease, Mr. Pear. Now, Mr. Pear, what story would you like to hear tonight?”
Bryton turned and faced Heather and chuckled. “You’ve told me so many good stories, Nurse. I believe it’s time I told you a story, from my past, a story that I will never forget.”
Heather nodded and smiled. “Well, if that’s what you want, Mr. Pear. I love a good story.”
Bryton’s facial expression was dull, with a hint of fear. Heather didn’t feel concerned about it, for Bryton had always looked like this.
“A story I will never forget,” Bryton repeated, as he stared at his window once again. “It happened exactly 40 years ago, today, and I remember it like it was yesterday…”
Bryton was running out of his apartment, as he loaded his pistol with a new magazine, pulling a ski mask over his face. A red van was parked outside, which was about ready for a drive. Bryton approached the red van with caution, as he slowly hid his pistol in the inner pocket of his leather jacket. He opened the passenger door of the van and it drove away quietly.
“What house?” Bryton asked. He was talking to a whole group of other men, wearing scary masks. They also had weapons on them.
“The Grand Cranston House,” the driver announced, whose name was Ret. “Built in 1932 by a Sergeant who served in the First World War and the Second World War. The family carried on his legacy, and fortune, shortly after his death. Word has it that the house has more riches than a national bank. What’s really great is that hardly anyone has had any contact with the residents of this house. People say the house is haunted and that the residents are actually dead. I’ve been keeping an eye on this house, just months before we set this up, and I see lights go on during nighttime just like any ordinary house. We’re going to take this urban myth to our advantage. Bryton, I want you to meet our new crew.” Three more unknown people sat around Bryton and simply said “sup” as a regular greeting.
“I’m Laura,” one burglar said. She was holding a shotgun and she sounded much younger than Bryton. She was at least a teenager. The other two burglars introduced themselves as The Noodle and Zap.
“It’s good to meet you guys,” Bryton said. “Have you guys robbed houses before?”
“Hell yeah,” Zap replied. His voice sounded like he was full of himself, which Bryton didn’t really appreciate. He couldn’t stand someone who was cocky. “It’s better when you can have your way with people when you rob them. Especially when you’re robbing a family. I hope the mother is hot. Maybe they have daughters? Sweetness.”
“Okay, shut up,” Ret said. “We’re here. This is what’s going to happen. The house does not have any alarm systems (Trust me, I checked.), so Bryton and I will pick the front door lock. Laura, you will do the same with the back door. Zap, I want you to climb to the rooftop and take care of the children’s’ room, tie them up and take as much as you can. Noodle, I want you to follow Zap and tie up the parents in their bedroom. Once you two are done taking their precious valuables, I want you two to meet the rest of us downstairs to help us out with the rest of the house. Got it?”
“Go Team Dynamite,” Noodle said as he armed his carbine.
The red van pulled up in front of the massive Grand Cranston House, which was obviously much larger than a regular home. It was so “snazzy fancy” that it didn’t even deserve to set in the middle of a healthy neighborhood.
“It’s bigger than Disney Land,” Laura whispered through her monkey mask, “a Disney Land full of sweet, sweet mula, motha fuh—“
Ret shushed her immediately. “You’ll wake up the neighbors. Alright, guys. Here are the rules. Rule number one, for the love of God, do not shoot your guns. Just use them for melee purposes if anything gets too hectic. If things really do get hectic, however, I guess you can use your gun. We’re burglars, not bad people. Rule number two, don’t take off your mask, okay? The last time Bryton and I robbed a house, one of our crew decided to take off his mask while he was in the bathroom to check up on his face. Oh, that’s another rule, stay out of the freakin’ bathrooms. Alright, guys, let’s make this quiet and simple. Bryton, you lead.”
Bryton nodded, quietly opened the car door and stepped outside. He took note of his surroundings, making sure that there were no witnesses. The neighborhood was perfectly quiet, along with the faint sounds of crickets chirping. He raised his hand in the air, giving a thumbs up, which signaled the others to follow. Bryton and Ret approached the front door, as Laura hopped the fence into the empty backyard, while Zap and The Noodle, who were both carrying an insane length of rope, made their way to their designated position on the exterior of the house.
Zap and Noodle approached an average-sized window on the side of the house, with Noodle taking out a screwdriver and started picking the lock.
“What luck is this? Their windows all rely on locks. How old is this house?”
“I don’t know,” Zap whispered through his devil mask. “Maybe use your noodle and find out?”
“Ha,” Noodle laughed sarcastically, “you are so funny with those puns.”
Zap laughed quietly. “I should be punished.”
Noodle shook his head, once he had finally picked the lock. He opened the window and quietly slipped inside. Once he took a step inside the children’s bedroom, a fine whiff of something awful went up his nostrils. The stench was so awful, he felt the need to puke all over the sleeping children. He signaled Zap to come inside the bedroom. Once Zap stepped in he, gagging quietly, approached Noodle and whispered in his ear. “Dude, were these children not potty-trained?! What kind burglary is this?! It’s pretty poopy, if you ask me.”
“Will you shut up?” Noodle replied. “Just tie up these two kids and meet up with the others, after.”
“No, I want to switch rooms. It smells like poo-poo.” Zap looked at the sleeping children. One was a young girl, the other was another girl who appeared to be a high school student. Her face was gorgeous, yet flawless. “On second thought, you go on in the parents’ room, I can handle it.”
Noodle quietly groaned in anger and left the room. The smell was really getting to Zap, but that didn’t stop him from staring at the gorgeous teenager. He knelt down beside her quietly and put his hand over her mouth. She immediately woke up, seeing Zap in his devil mask. As mortifying as this first glance was, the girl’s eyes widened and she wanted to scream. Zap put his finger over his devil mouth and pointed his gun at her.
“Don’t make any sounds, or your head is going to go off like a confetti cannon,” Zap whispered, “and as much as I would love to see your voluptuous body hit the floor, we wouldn’t want that would we?” The girl shook her head. “Good. Now, I’m going to tie you up and we’re going to have a little fun, before I continue with my business. If you make any stupid decisions, you will regret it. When I take my hand off your mouth, will you scream?” The girl shook her head again, with tears rolling down her cheeks. “Awesome.” Zap took his hand off the girl’s mouth and began to tie up her wrists.
The other child was still sound asleep and the girl tried her best not to scream or bawl her eyes out. When he was finishing up with tying the girl’s wrists, Zap heard a faint sound coming from outside the bedroom down the hallway. It sounded like a door being slowly creaked open. Zap looked behind him, concerned, but was able to convince himself that it was Noodle doing a crappy job with his stealth. Zap turned and continued tying the girl up. It was now quiet and Zap didn’t hear another sound. He proceeded to tie the frightened girl’s legs until Zap felt a great, yet painful force jerk his head to the side. The force came from someone’s hands, which snapped his neck. The snapping was sharp and extremely painful. He tried to move, but the mysterious force was too quick and he was dead within a second. Zap’s dead body lay on the floor before the tied up girl. A man, dressed in a red zoot suit stood over him, for he was the one who snapped the burglar’s neck. He observed Zap’s dead body, as he smoked a pipe.
“Did you have to snap his neck, Daddy?” the teenage girl asked the man in the red zoot suit. “It looks all gross.”
The man in the red zoot suit puffed his pipe and blew smoke out of his mouth. “Well he can’t bleed, can he sweetie? You know how Mommy is when we get stains on the carpet? You know, my lovely daughter, you could’ve killed him, yourself.”
The girl smiled. “I was saving him for you, Daddy.”
The man in the red zoot suit pat his daughter’s head. “That’s my baby girl. Well, there’s more visitors in the house. I think another one is going to try to hurt Mommy. Let’s get you untied, sunshine, and let’s wake up your little sister. Looks like we’re going to have a family meeting.”