Big Jud’s is home of the Man vs. Food Burger Challenge, an eating competition featuring a monstrosity of a hamburger: two pounds of ground beef piled high with nearly everything, from mushrooms and mayo to blue cheese and bacon, packed between two Frisbee-sized buns. It is estimated the finished burger, topping and bun compilation weighs in at around four pounds.
Aside from this towering burger, the challenge mandates its brave competitors finish a giant basket of fries and large soda. Man vs. Food’s Adam Richman is the only challenger to successfully consume the entire meal, solo, while adhering to the Big Juds’ rules.
This week I decided to take this burger challenge because, really, who doesn’t like a good challenge? To sway the odds in my favor, I brought along Boise State’s own Kacie Ann Bitzenburg, current Miss Boise, crown, sash and all. Zachary Chastaine, The Arbiter opinion editor, came along to document our challenge photographically, making us a hamburger-eating trio.
We came upon Big Jud’s with a sense of arrogant confidence, figuring if one man could accomplish the feat, our team of three would have no problem. However, as the towering burger approached our table, attitudes quickly changed.
“I feel like we are going to have to cut pieces off like a pie,” Bitzenburg said. “Like a giant hamburger pie.”
As the waitress set a kitchen timer for 30 minutes marking the beginning of our challenge, I began to slice up our giant hamburger pie, which, in all fairness was quite larger than a pie.
“It’s not even that it’s wide and massive, it is three stories tall,” Chastaine said. “It is like a wedding cake made out of bun and meat and mushroom. This burger is like they took every ingredient they had in the restaurant and just slammed it
Our team, though feeling a bit intimidated by sheer size of the burger, moved in optimistically and quick-paced. We each took a quarter of the burger, losing mounds of grease-and cheese-covered ingredients in the divvying process.
Bitzenberg removed her sash and sweater and decided on the fork and-knife approach, as Chastaine and I attempted to wrangle our monstrous portions by hand. Silence set in as we each fought our own personal battle with the burger.
“I don’t know how anyone could seriously look at this and say, ‘I’ve got this, this is doable’,” Bitzenberg said as our eating-speed began to lag. “What I said last week, ‘let’s not eat until the challenge,’ that probably should have been done.”
Time passed slowly as we contemplated competition specifics, like if every morsel of food must be licked up from the table and how a bun this size came to exist. Then we remembered the fries.
“I can’t imagine how you would feel if you finished this on your own,” Bitzenburg said. “You would want to die, you would want to seriously cut out your stomach. Imagine how your stomach would look, because I have a massive food baby right now.”
When the kitchen timer finally buzzed, we all breathed a sigh of relief, only to be informed we still had three minutes remaining. These minutes were spent in a grease-induced state of delirium, which ultimately led to our defeat.
“I feel like when I breathe grease just drips out,” Bitzenburg said. “I am crying it hurts so bad. My stomach is seriously not happy. Part of my soul just died with the burger.”
The Challenge Rules:
- You must finish the entire burger, fries and drink. Fries may be substituted for tots.
- You have up to 30 minutes to complete the challenge.
- You may not leave the table during the challenge.
- The meal is not free even if you complete the challenge.
- You will have the privilege to purchase a special T-Shirt to commemorate your success.
- You will get your picture taken and added to the wall of fame if you manage to complete the challenge.