You remember that, Johnson: Floorcest

You remember that, Johnson: Floorcest

0 40
Cody Finney / The Arbiter

“You remember that, Johnson” is Katie Johnson’s survival guide to Boise State detailing her experiences last year as a first-year freshman from out of state.

It happens to all of us. We fall for someone. We fall hard and fast and before we know it we’re thinking about them all the time and checking our phones for texts.

I know it’s going to happen to you. And I’m sure it will be adorable.

But I must give you a bit of advice on the whole dating scene. A little bit different from the normal, “I read in Cosmo! If he faces his shoulders toward you, he into you!”

And I think, if you listen to me, you will appreciate this bit of advice more: Don’t date the kid down the hall.

I know he’s cute. I know he laughs that magical laugh and you’re sold. I know he seems like he could be really special.

I know you watch movies together and you hold hands. I know right now he may seem like the perfect guy.

Stop where you are and think about this for a minute. What are the odds you two are going to
work out?

Think about it. It’s your first year in the dorms and maybe even your first year away from home.

You both have freedoms you’ve never had before, and there is a good chance one of you isn’t going to want to give up any part of that new freedom yet.

Besides, he’s probably going to flirt with another girl at a party and you’re going to hear about it and never forgive him.

Or you’re going to start hanging out with the cute football player in D-Wing and the guy from your floor is not going to be happy about it.

Either way, there’s a good chance one of you is going to really piss the other one off. I mean, real bad. And you two will stop talking.

But you know what? He’s still going to live on your floor. He’s still going to use the same trash shoot as you.

And you will see him every single time you go to brush your teeth.

Daily stand-offs between the two of you will become the norm.

You’ll make awkward eye contact and both grapple for the door at the same time.

So let me warn against “floorcest.” It’s a life-ruiner. Some would go as far to say it’s social suicide.

I’m really not trying to be Negative Nancy either, I’m just trying to warn you of what’s to come if this fling goes south.

So before you do it, heed my warning: keep your love life at least a flight of stairs away.