Truth or Dare: A better proposition

Truth: Some conversations about love change everything. I remember a crucial exchange with my best friend when we were 12. We snuck out of the house and were lying under the stars on a lush hilltop. He was quiet, which was unusual. I asked him what was wrong. He started to cry.

“I have something to tell you,” he said. “And I don’t know if you’ll love me anymore after you know.”

My heart stopped. What could he have done that is so bad I would be forced to rescind my affection for him? 

He paused. I braced myself for impact.

“I’m gay. I want you to know that I’m gay.” 

I was so relieved! Of course I could still love him. The person he is didn’t change for me because of his sexual orientation.

I’d never met a gay person before. But I knew enough about the struggle of gay people to understand why he was so afraid to tell me.

I watched him agonize over what his parents, friends and classmates would think if they found out. I saw him suppress who he is for years to hold onto their love for as long as he could. He was terrified that once they knew, they would abandon, despise or reject him.

I feel ashamed that for awhile I secretly hoped being gay was a phase he’d grow out of.  Not because I didn’t accept him for being gay, but because watching someone you love be harassed, berated and beat down because of who he is, is
excruciating. I didn’t want him to suffer and hate himself
because he couldn’t change this one aspect of his being.

I still can’t comprehend how anyone could believe a person would choose to shoulder that kind of burden.

I wonder if people who hate or fear homosexuals and deny their rights to get married, have children – to live free as they are and not what society would make them – if they got to know my best friend and saw what an exceptional human being he is,  maybe they would overcome their prejudice.

I wonder if they’ve loved someone who is gay. I’m sure most have, but some don’t know it, because like my best friend, their gay friend is afraid to tell them. Perhaps the gay person is not a friend or family member, but a respected coworker or classmate. Could the fear and ignorance caused by anti-gay
propaganda, (such as the Proposition 8 campaign) be
shattered by the reality that someone they know, care about and
respect is gay. I think it would.

I hope one day those who haven’t knowingly befriended a gay person get to know my best friend. I hope they see how kind, giving, moral and courageous he is. I hope they can look inside his soul and see how brightly he shines because of the man he is, the love and support of the man who loves him and those of us who proudly celebrate his humanity.

Dare: If you’re gay, come out of hiding, celebrate who you are. Be seen, be recognized and give yourself permission to feel at ease in your own skin. Come enjoy the love and support of those of us who’ll stand with you as you say, “Yeah, I’m gay! I have inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of
happiness. Furthermore, as an American, I will love and marry any adult I choose with the same protection and legal recognition as you.”    
 
Straight people, educate yourselves. Get to know the gay community so you know there is nothing to be afraid of. Put down your guard and start a dialog. Remember, a single conversation about love can change everything … let’s start talking.

SHANNON MORGAN
Editor-in-Chief

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