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Truth or Dare:
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Truth: “Men are pigs.” If you actually believe that statement, find a nice comfy seat and nuzzle up with my column, because I’m about to show you a far better paradigm.
Most heterosexual men – not the kind that hump your leg at parties – want a confident, intelligent, sexy woman who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. When I say they want a sexy woman, I don’t mean slutty. Your looks might draw them in but it’s your brain that keeps them coming back for more, ladies. Your sexiness has to radiate from the inside. A smart woman knows the value of tantalizing her love interest’s imagination. She reveals herself slowly to him and keeps him wanting more.
Dating for me is a chance to sharpen my skill in the art of listening. Ask him questions and find out what he’s all about. What was his favorite cartoon character as a kid? Did he collect baseball cards, marbles or Playboy magazines? What was his first kiss like? Is he quiet because he’s analytical, or because he’s dumber than a box of rocks? Listen for cues that cue you into his true character and intentions. Does he still refer to breasts as jugs? More importantly, is he eager to get in your panties on the first date so he can tell the boys in the locker room how he “banged” you on your couch the next day?
Don’t get me wrong; if a man is on a date with you, he probably wants to sleep with you. I don’t have a problem with that. Chances are, you’ve probably wondered if he’s a “Tarzan king of the jungle” lover or “Casanova with massage oil,” kinda guy – this is normal.
Humans are sexual beings; both men and women fantasize about sex and most sexualy active folks anticipate eagerly the next time they’ll be able to indludge their fantasies. I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed of and we shouldn’t have to all pretend we’re Puritans. The important thing is to be honest and demand honesty from our partners.
I find, in most cases, when women say, “men are pigs,” they ignored blaring signs that would’ve alerted them to the swine status of the man in question. Some men (and women) aren’t looking for commitment and are happy to find a “booty call.” In other words, they want no-strings-attached sex. If that’s not what you want, don’t sleep with him and think he will have a change of heart after he experiences your awesomeness. If you’re looking for a relationship, date men who are looking for that as well. Go in to things with your eyes wide open, be completely honest with your partner about what you’re looking for and demand they do the same for you.
If you’ve said, “men these days are manipulative, evil, bastards,” I assure you that has more to do with who you’re choosing to date, than a lack of quality Man Candy. What are you doing to consistently attract those kinds of people?
Dare: Ask yourself, “am I going into relationships secure with who I am and what I want, or in a state of desperation and loneliness?”
Be honest.
If you think you’re even a little bit desperate, it’s time for a reality check. A relationship is not going to fill that void you feel – only you can. The only validation you need is your own and you’ll never truly be happy until you learn to be content with life outside of your romantic relationships.
Shannon Morgan
