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Prince charming or Crack-head Jason: an insider’s guide to online dating
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Permanently seared into my memory is the experience of getting my first apartment. Unable to afford a place by myself I got a roommate who I now refer to as Crack-head Jason.
I call him this because a few months into our lease I discovered he had an addiction to methamphetamines. I’ll never forget the day I came home to find Crack-head Jason feverishly entering his description into a profile on an online dating Website. He described himself as a “hardworking, moral man, who wanted to settle down and start a family.”
Still seething mad that my new roommate had a crack addiction, I inquired if he was going to mention on his profile that he smoked meth in the cooler at the convenience store he worked at.
He said, “The trick is to go after the single moms because they’re all desperate. Once you get in and make them fall in love with you they’re more willing to overlook such minor details.”
I broke my lease and moved out promising myself I would have my next roommate pass a drug test before moving in with them, and if I was ever to use an online dating service I’d ask be sure to include, “do you smoke crack?” as a question in the screening process.
Survey research conducted by media researcher Jeana Frost of Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology suggests about 20 percent of online daters admit to lying about themselves in their descriptions. When the same people are asked how many others they feel are deceptive in their online dating profile, they said 90 percent, which is a far more realistic figure.
Most often people exaggerate their income, education level and weight. On the flipside, you have those who fail to disclose more serious things like drug addiction or criminal history.
One person, Online Bachelor A, shared an experience he had using Hotornot.com, which is a Website that allows users to upload pictures which other people search through and rate on a scale from one to 10 based on how attractive someone is.
“I met this totally hot specimen on hotornot.com from Florida, this woman had smoking hot model looks, gorgeous body… blah, blah, blah. We e-mail and chat for a while, then she gives me her number, I call and I swear to God, it was a guy! I was mortified. It gives me the willies just thinking about it!”
Some online dating services are built entirely around claims they have powerful effective, “scientific” matchmaking testes promised to increase your chances at finding true love– most notably eHarmony.com, perfectmatch.com and chemistry.com (a recent spin off of match.com). But not one of the tests has ever been subjected to the type of outside scientific verification.
Besides, the fact you both enjoy “long walks on the beach” is not enough to compensate for “enjoys a hefty bong rip before robbing liquor stores,” which most likely will not be a question that appears on the personality survey your potential matches fill out.
Another online bachelor who asked to be referred to as “a Washington attorney who makes more than twice as much money as most men of comparable age who seem to have no trouble getting dates” said, “I think my favorite dating Website is Yahoo Personals because it’s cheapest and therefore slightly less disappointing when you realize how little you actually got out of it.”
Online dating Websites have their benefits and can be an effective tool for a busy student. Being able to log onto a Website, look at pictures and read online descriptions can be far less intimidating than going to a bar or some other social setting and trying to find your perfect match.
Social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook are more popular among college students because they’re free. MySpace boasts to have more than 150 million members, suggesting there are plenty fish in the sea, just take the necessary precautions to ensure you don’t wind up with a shark.
Don’t divulge too much information about yourself on a dating Website. Talk on the phone with a potential match and if you want to meet them in person, do so in a social setting so you have a quick escape if the date goes sour.
With all things in life, be safe and keep your expectations realistic. If you keep my ex roommate (Crack-head Jason) in the back of your mind as the person who might be on the other end of the keyboard, you should be just fine.
Shannon Morgan
