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Chivalry is dead, respect is fading
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After a number of dates with women during the past year, I have noticed one thing - chivalry and respect are becoming things of the past.
When I go out with a girl, I conduct myself in the manner taught to me by my elders during my childhood.
I open doors, pick up the tab, walk on the outside of the sidewalk and carry out other gentlemanly actions.
I treat all my female friends this way, my mother, my sister – all of them. However, holding a door for anyone, guy or girl, is just being courteous. I watch people in public and see men everywhere not opening doors for their wives, girl friends, mothers or not even holding the door for others. I see women acting the same way.
Walking on the outside of the sidewalk is the action I get the most shock and awe from. For you who don’t know the purpose behind this action, it is so that when walking down the street the woman doesn’t get splashed by rainwater or hit by other surrounding hazards.
When I do this I get a range of peculiar responses. Even after
explaining myself there is still a level of shock.
Why is this?
Is our society eroding away some of the easiest, most courteous things we can do? I have asked many women why these actions are so foreign to them, and their response is they have never had men act like this for them. This is quite disappointing.
Why are parents not raising their kids to treat others better than this, or are people getting lazy and disrespectful?
I’ve discussed this topic with my female friends and asked them if I’m the odd one out on this and one made the comment that guys growing up with sisters, especially older sisters, tend to have a stronger grasp on being a gentleman. She said that she and her sister were making sure that their little brother grew up knowing how to be courteous with a girl, as well as people in general.
When I was relating some dating stories to a fellow writer, she asked me where I learned to act like this. The question was actually peculiar to me, because it seems like I’ve always known these things, but I know it was my family. I can’t even count how many times my sister gave me the run down on how I was to treat a girl before I went on dates. She still does, or she’ll grill me on it after the date. So girls, those of you with male siblings, make sure they learn these things.
I know women are very capable of doing these things themselves. However, everyone likes to be treated like they’re special, and doing these little things is just one way for guys to treat girls that way. Guys, these actions are not something that is hard to do or remember. These timeless actions are obviously dying.
Society as a whole is obviously going down the toilet. Along with lack of guys being gentlemen, we no longer expect people in general to be respectful. We have become callous.
We are not respectful to others. We think of ourselves and not of those around us. Most people are not respectful to elders.
I know I could be more respectful to elders.
I recently had the opportunity and because I didn’t understand an elderly man’s comment, I walked away. It took my brother and sister to inform me what he was talking about. I still feel guilty for walking away.
People are now almost shocked when courteous actions fall on them, however, they are grateful when it occurs.
Courteousness is received by few, with an effect of surprise, which could very well be the cause for it not occurring enough.
In my family we are taught to be respectful to our elders and watch our mouths when speaking to one another. We never had our mouths washed out with soap, but one time I told my brother to “bite me” at the dinner table and I got an ear-full from my parents.
If we are not respectful in every action that we do, how can it be expected for a guy to be respectful to women? Being a
descent person, guy or girl, has everything to do with showing
dignity and respect for yourself and others. The next time you are out with friends, girlfriends, lovers, family or by yourself, show some respect and be courteous to those around you. It’ll be greatly appreciated.
RYAN RASMUSSEN
News Writer