River floating dos and don’ts

Upon your next trip to the local river, you might want to take a few words of warning, which could cause you less hassle. During my own last expedition down the Boise River, I came across some snares.

The first thing I didn’t realize was that what may seem to be a comfortable temperature outside (let’s say just above the water, in the low 80s) is not necessarily similar to that of other ambient levels (let’s consider those below the surface of the water, in the lower fifties).

Also, just for its own sake, let’s consider the means of conveyance one chooses; believe if you will, that being in a raft can actually be warmer than parking your gluteus area in a tube which is consequently in direct contact with aforementioned and seemingly sub-bearable water temps.

So, now I’m in the position of one floating inextricably down the frigid waters (remember it’s like 80 with patches of sunlight) kicking myself in my numb butt with a foot I can no longer sense. This is a somewhat desperate situation when you are with family and friends and having one “heck of a time.”

So, now at the destination point (let’s call it the BSU drop off) with blue extremities, my team and I have to walk a mile to our destination vehicle, which someone will use to return to Barber Park.

Now, I’m not attempting to cause any dispute with the makers of Velcro, but to my surprise, pockets containing important items such as, say, keys to said car transporting drivers to their cars, while being kept shut by the wonderful Velcro, don’t always hold up to their hyped “adhesive capacity;” and thus could be shown to increase the number of lost keys to the river floor.

So, after being rescued by a friend of our party, I have come up with some conclusions when embarking on a river float.

First thing to consider is that unless the outside temp is above 90 or one is a “human furnace,” consider rafting. Secondly, never trust any man-made invention (doesn’t leave much, does it?) especially for important transportation. Maybe even consider using string to attach valuable keys to oneself.

Finally, never trust an inexperienced floater with the ultimate responsibility of bringing said car with keys supposedly on their person after the drop off, with the assumption that there was enough gas to begin with to make the returning journey to generic point previously used to embark. Otherwise, happy floating.

Bill Donnelly / Special to the Arbiter

Related Posts:

1. Drunk or sober, river floaters cut loose: The Good
2. Drunk or sober, river floaters cut loose: The Naughty
3. The (non) alcoholic river:
4. Boise River provides recreation for all walks of life
5. Boise River on the rise