roche approach

Dear Mr. Kevin Weiberg,

If that three-second rule taught us anything about life – or personal hygiene – it’s that whatever Milk Dud or french fry hits the ground, let it go. Just let it die. No matter how delicious that gummy bear might be, some things are just not worth the risk. I hope the Big 12 conference is paying attention, because there also exists a three second rule in football, and those chocolate covered Colorado Buffaloes have been on the floor for some time.

Last week, the Colorado football scandal saw more allegations about sexual assaults and slush funds, adding to the already lengthy list of NCAA “no-nos” for coach Gary Barnett and staff. So now college football is about athletic trainers forced to perform sexual favors for players. Is this what the greatest collegiate game has become? In completely unrelated stories: Michael Jackson has reportedly enrolled for the fall semester and producer Aaron Spelling is seeking sleazy football scripts for a new television drama. I wonder which daughter will get the role for the female place kicker turned rape victim?

The Big 12 conference needs to wake up to fresh cup of … well, I think Jack Daniels should work here. How much sex, lies, and kickoffs will it take before your conference walks away from this black eye? Punishment is a meal best served cold … and with a big-ass baked potato.

First it was Kobe Bryant’s sexual disaster in Colorado. And what happened to him? McDonald’s dropped him like a french fry and so did Sprite and Nutella. Kobe is still collecting on Nike’s $40 million contract, but it’s been a while since we’ve seen him in any advertisements, hasn’t it? Point is, these are smart companies operated by smart people that obeyed the three-second rule. They know when its time to let it go.

Are you still listening Mr. Weiberg? Maybe you should re-read your own sportsmanship statement for further review.

It states, “The member institutions of the Big 12 Conference are committed to competition in an arena where sportsmanship and the sense of fair play take center stage. Whether on the field, within the community or in the classroom, those who make up the Big 12 – its administrators, coaches, game officials, and student-athletes – support the highest ideals in sportsmanship … It is with a sense of fair play that a true sporting demeanor in the spirit of intercollegiate competition can be created and maintained with a total regard for the welfare of student-athletes, coaches, support personnel, and spectators.”

Is that enough hypocrisy for you, Mr. Weiberg?

Fortunately there is a big blue answer on the horizon.

It’s a program that couldn’t possibly hold slush funds, because it’s starved for any buffalo nickel it can throw into facilities, coaches, and equipment. And right now, this program is starting to resemble something bigger than a WAC school (consult the arbiteronline.com archives for the artist renderings). It’s a program held on the highest peak by ESPN and any news outlet looking for a great story. Most of all, our players aren’t Olympic skiers flooding the NCAA with complaints over their K2 endorsements. And … oh yeah, we have something called class. Are you still scratching your head? Let me spell it out for you.

B-O-I-S-E-S-T-A-T-E.

So what is the problem, Mr. Weiberg? You don’t think these guys can hang with your boys? Any respected football mind in the country would agree that Boise State would win the Big 12 north if given the opportunity (except for Trev Alberts, but he’s a royal douche bag). And the Broncos would more than likely turn in a better performance than Colorado’s 42-3 embarrassment to Oklahoma. Just imagine, if you will, the pre-game hype of Nebraska’s “Sea of Red” coming to the blue turf. Potatoes vs. corn; the great debate. It would be the exact moment when everyone forgets Colorado even played in the Big 12. Or how about the aerial assault between Boise State and Texas Tech? A 70-65 score would make some clever headlines and fill some seats. Just to paraphrase, every game would have ABC foaming at the gums.

I’m not demanding immediate change, Mr. Weiberg. But what I would like you to do is think about Boise State during every little story your read, sound byte you hear, or statement you don’t make. Every time this joke of a football program drags your conference through fields of buffalo chips, just imagine the obnoxious blue glow in the distance.

Also, unlike your Kansas State, this school doesn’t lose to Fresno.

Sincerely,

The Roche Approach

P.S. – If you do consider this proposal, please learn from WAC Commissioner Karl Benson’s mistake and leave the Vandals out of this.

Mike Roche
Sports Writer

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3. A word on the subject: Academics
4. Boise State Beat Down – 4/17
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