Continuing the debate about homosexuality

I’m responding to Bob McDiarmid’s March 17 editorial

‘Homosexuality Is Not A Moral Issue.’ First, thank you

for your response to my editorial on homosexuality. It’s nice

to have an insider’s view.

Though my article didn’t address the morality of

homosexuality, the suggestion I made that it could be immoral

obviously angered some people. I simply tried to expose the myth

that homosexuals are “born that way,” and point out

some of the consequences of that view (i.e. gays who don’t

want to be gay are denied the choice to change). I also tried to

remove a fallacy that prevents people from having any debate about

the moral issues of homosexuality. Perhaps I should address some of

the moral issues.

Mr. McDiarmid says, “There are no moral issues surrounding

homosexuality and please get with the 21st century.” I am

aware that I live in the 21st century, but refuse to accept every

social whim of our times simply because it’s the 21st

century.

I need more. And I disagree that no moral issues surround

homosexuality; all behaviors carry moral issues (even

heterosexuality) because our actions ultimately affect others.

What, then, are some of the moral issues surrounding

homosexuality? If morality is so linked to happiness, as Mr.

McDiarmid suggests, then I argue that a lot of homosexuals are not

happy being gay. Homosexuals are more apt to suffer from

psychological disorders such as depression and anxiety. They have a

higher suicide rate. They have a significantly decreased life

expectancy.

AIDS is much more prevalent in homosexuals. Male homosexuals

often have multiple bowel related diseases, frequent cases of

rectal cancer, and other diseases related to feces getting into the

bloodstream. Many homosexuals have histories of bad relationships

with their mothers or fathers – the overly protective or

abusive mother, the distant and detached or abusive father. (I

don’t want to suggest that bad parent relations are something

inherent within homosexuality, but that homosexuality can often

stem from something destructive like abusive parents).

Homosexuality – especially male homosexuality – is

often associated with considerable dangers and risks. So, is

homosexuality desirable? I can understand why many gays would be

happier as ex-gay, and I think they should have the right to pursue

this happiness.

Another issue causing concern in conservative circles is the

promiscuity in homosexuality. Homosexuals – especially male

– are far more likely to have multiple partners. A homosexual

couple that wrote The Male Couple carefully studied a group of

homosexual male couples, and found that out of a 156 only seven

couples had maintained sexual fidelity. Of the couples that stayed

together for more than five years, none had stayed sexually loyal.

The authors concluded “The expectation for outside sexual

activity was the rule for male couples and the exception for

heterosexuals.” As one doctor commented, since when has

infidelity been associated with maturity? Sexual promiscuity,

because of its link to STDs and hurtful, “user” type

relationships, concerns many people.

There are other moral issues – whether or not to teach

children in schools that homosexuality is a safe, natural option to

heterosexuality, whether adoption should be allowed for gay

couples, whether research grants on homosexuality should only be

awarded to those that are pro-gay, and more – but I

don’t have the space to expand.

I think it would be healthy for people on both sides to engage

in a dialogue of these issues, not just sweep it aside as

“Victorian” foolishness. Must friendships be so fragile

that disagreement breaks them apart? I hope not. Contrary to Mr.

McDiarmid’s assumption, I do have some gay friends, and they

don’t agree with some of the things I do and vice versa. I

think that often times the differences between people in a

relationship sharpen and challenge those people in good ways.

I am not trying to “convert” all gays; I think that

those who wish to be gay should have the right to be gay. I do,

however, understand why some gays would be happier if they were not

gay. I want to encourage those people that they do have an option;

there is something they can do about it, and there are

organizations like Bellwether Ministries (Boise) and Exodus

International that provide resources to help.

 

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Editor’s note: Arbiter columnists’

opinions don’t reflect those of The Arbiter editorial

board.

Jared Kenning, The Arbiter

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