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Homosexuality is not a moral issue
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In response to ‘Straight Talk On Homosexuality’:
When people talk to me about the moral issues surrounding
homosexuality I usually respond with a kind but firm, “There
are no moral issues surrounding homosexuality and please get with
the 21st century.”
Jared Kenning’s March 10 editorial in The Arbiter suggests
that he has never had an openly gay or lesbian person in his life
that he could view as happy, successful and without the need for
his moral judgment.
Moral conservatives in this country would have you believe that
gay and lesbian people are miserable, and are just waiting to be
enlightened by the right religious group, thus changing them into
morally “straight” Americans. Would it surprise moral
conservatives like Kenning that I’ve been openly homosexual
for 15 of my 36 years and am just as happy and content as my
heterosexual peers? That perhaps he misjudges the lure of the happy
heterosexual life he hopes to “convert” me to?
Even if I believed that my homosexuality isn’t hereditary
(despite nearly a dozen happy homos all over my father’s side
of the family over the years), many of Mr. Kenning’s
conclusions are simplistic. The American Psychiatric Association
has officially declared reparative therapy for homosexuals
unethical.
Let’s share with you the official statement from the APA
on ex-gay therapy: “The potential risks of ‘reparative
therapy’ are great, including depression, anxiety and
self-destructive behavior, since therapist alignment with societal
prejudices against homosexuality may reinforce self-hatred already
experienced by the patient. Many patients who have undergone
‘reparative therapy’ relate that they were inaccurately
told that homosexuals are lonely, unhappy individuals who never
achieve acceptance or satisfaction. The possibility that the person
might achieve happiness and satisfying interpersonal relationships
as a gay man or lesbian is not presented, nor are alternative
approaches to dealing with the effects of societal stigmatization
discussed … the APA opposes any psychiatric treatment, such as
‘reparative’ or ‘conversion’ therapy which
is based on the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental
disorder or based on a prior assumption that the patient should
change his/her sexual orientation.”
The APA’s condemnation of ex-gay therapy is based on the
fact that such therapy is prejudiced and often backed by people who
are seeking to apply their moral standard on someone else’s
life. The problem I personally have with ex-gay therapy and those
who think it’s a viable treatment is that I am hardly a
lonely, unhappy person without acceptance or satisfaction.
I have been with my partner for seven years. We have a nice
house on a corner lot by the Boise River. My partner attends
functions with me regarding my work, we own two cars, have two
terriers and pay taxes.
His family loves me and my family loves him. Our neighbors stop
and chat with us as we work in the garden. We have straight
couples, gay couples and transgender couples in our lives. We have
single straight friends who don’t feel threatened or
uncomfortable.
My question for Mr. Kenning is: What is it about homosexuality
that scares you so much? Are gay people in your life asking you to
convert to homosexuality because you seem so lonely and unhappy and
incapable of acceptance or satisfaction?
Mr. Kenning makes an excellent point at the end of his article
when he says, “Change, though extremely difficult (but
perhaps extremely rewarding), is possible.” Clearly that is a
profound and powerful statement.
Isn’t it interesting, however, that he is so worried about
offering others the ability to discover his moral conservativeness?
Perhaps he could take the time to understand why a gay person might
not want to submit to conservative 19th century morality and
perhaps change his need to want to change other people.
The great thing about America, despite bigotry and homophobia,
is that we are free to be exactly who we want to be. No movement,
no matter how morally “right” it claims to be, has the
right to judge other Americans unworthy of life, liberty and the
pursuit of happiness.
Bob McDiarmid, Boise