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Def Leppard: ‘Pour some artificial sweeterner on me’
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The 10th studio album by British pop-metal legends Def Leppard is named after one of the most infamous symbols of the past decade: X.
They hope to regain their status by co-opting the gargantuan marketing power of the alphabet’s 24th letter and putting together a collection of songs that resemble bad Matchbox 20 outtakes and the blandest adult contemporary Christian-pop schlock.
Empty, fake drums, guitars processed into the deepest reaches of ineffectiveness and smatterings of cheesy, trying-to-be-with-it synth sounds are all over the place.
Michael W. Smith has moved up a notch from the bottom with the release of this album.
Since Def Leppard frontman Joe Elliot has admitted, “clearly we don’t need the money,” no one is sure why they haven’t pooled their royalties from Hysteria and built a resort and margarita bar in the Bahamas.
Instead they’ve shredded any speck of artistic credibility by bringing in guest songwriters who’ve written tracks for the likes of Britney Spears, the Backstreet Boys and N’Sync.
Of course, Def Leppard used to write songs with the guy who is now Shania Twain’s producer/husband, so perhaps they figured they had no integrity left to lose.
To the band’s credit, these hired guns are probably responsible for X’s dumbest tracks, like “You’re So Beautiful,” “Love Don’t Lie,” “Girl Like You” and “Unbelievable.”
These lyrics include deep, heartfelt revelations like “I look in your eyes and I’m in love” and “I want to be what’s on your mind.” It’s beyond sad that 40-plus-year-old men are performing songs this unquestionably idiotic, and it might be worse that they needed help coming up with this stuff.
Are they trying to recapture the pre-teen market they once dominated? Is this album a huge practical joke on the world’s most undiscerning ears?
It’ll probably be a hot seller at Wal-Marts nationwide.
The closest the band gets to its former light headbanging, arena-rock glory is on “Four Letter Word,” which sounds slightly more like weak AC/DC than easy-listening alterno-pop.
Def Leppard may have been palatable and even fun back in the days of spandex, cassettes and hot-pink triple-deck boom boxes. And, all right, the insert picture of the band, including one-armed drummer Rick Allen, flying through the air over Manhattan is priceless. But X is just very boring and very stupid.
This album is not suitable for anyone who actually likes music.
Jim Toweill, The Arbiter
