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Even college students can eat healthy
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HOUSTON – Welcome readers, old and new, to the beginning of yet another new semester.
I hope you all enjoyed your break. (If you didn’t, there’s another one coming in a matter of months and you can start saving now for a spring break resort.)
This is a great time of year. New things are emerging, and everyone has new opportunities to start off with a clean slate.
Personally, I’m starting the new year with new jobs, a new vehicle (a beautiful, gas-guzzling sport utility vehicle) and, in the near future, new living quarters.
I might even dye my hair a brand-spanking-new color. (I can’t decide on which color, so I’m taking a poll via e-mail. Vote early and vote often. And I assure you, every vote counts.)
The new year gives us all a chance to look at what we want to change about ourselves.
If you’ve been paying attention to the media at all, you know that Houston has been dubbed the “Fattest City in America” for two years in a row. And let me tell you, we’re darn proud of it.
We red-blooded Houstonians like our food hot and greasy. We like our seven-layer desserts rich and chocolate-y and chock-full of calories.
Why would we want to lose weight, anyway? There are a lot of disadvantages to losing weight and getting in shape – like being prone to fainting.
According to White House medical staff, President Bush fainted while choking on a pretzel Sunday because he’s in top physical condition and can run a seven minute mile.
Weird things happen to your body when you try to make it do things it doesn’t naturally want to do, like eat healthy.
Needless to say, a higher metabolism is much higher-maintenance. The ideal six-small-meals-per-day lifestyle doesn’t exactly fit into everyone’s schedule.
There are other disadvantages, like having to go shopping for new clothes because your old clothes don’t fit anymore.
You might even have to pull out clothes you haven’t been able to wear in years, provided they’re not horribly out of style.
If you don’t need the hassle of losing weight (and who does?) here’s a few tips:
- Believe every gimmick you see in television ads. If it’s on television, it must be true – especially if it claims to be the weight-loss secret of the stars.
- Any program that uses the words “quick” and “weight loss” in the same sentence is your key to success – especially if it involves a hypnotist.
- Be sure to invest lots of money in cheesy exercise equipment. Sure, you may not see a centrifugal-force-powered “ab-roller” at your local gym, but that’s because the machine is ahead of its time. It’ll catch on in a few years.
If you stick to these tips, you’ll be on the path to obesity in no time.
However, if you’re sincerely interested in taking off a few pounds, don’t believe the hype.
- Whatever you do, don’t call a dietary change a “diet.” Something about that word seems to make people immediately run to the local fast food joint for the McFatty double cheeseburger combo. “Diet” should be considered a curse word.
- If you want to know about a healthier eating lifestyle, forget American cuisine. Talk to an international student about food. People from other countries where wealth and decadence aren’t so shamelessly flaunted know all about eating well on a minimalist budget.
- Instead of a personal trainer or an expensive gym membership, buy a book on exercise (i.e. Body for Life) and give Garrison Gymnasium a try.
It’s not exactly posh, but Garrison has everything you need to work your butt off.
As a college student, there are many ways to lose weight that don’t include becoming a regular at “healthy” fast food joints that claim to be the sole reason for people’s weight loss. Use your resources.
If not for yourself, then do it for that old pair of jeans. They’ve been abandoned in storage for too long. They miss you.
And remember, kids: Always chew your pretzels before swallowing.
Kristin Buchanan, The Daily Cougar (U. Houston)