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Cheap Question: Cheap bicyclists sport pricey body part
Archive
The majority of the time I am baffled. My best friend and I have decided that we are aliens. Really, I know it sounds cliche, like something from the X-files, but I am sometimes embarrassed to be a part of the human race.
I am appalled by how I am looked at as being inappropriate because I do not have an electronic leash (definition: cell phone, pagers, etc.) or an uneconomical and exorbitant Pathfinder to drive on my one and a half-mile commute. I do not have cable or read “Vogue”or even have an Internet Provider Service in my home.
Since I do not read Vogue I have absolutely no idea how to dress exactly like everyone else, nor do I have”One Hundred and One ways to please my Man” memorized. I have no idea how to apply makeup unless it is for a costume party and then I use it to change who I am for a specific reason, not because I think my lips should be redder and my eyes more oval. I used to think that having dread-locks meant that person cared about the earth and the inhabitants on it. The bumper stickers on their SUV’s say to “Love Our Mother” and I could swear it had a picture of the Earth next to it!
The other day this girl told me that I needed to accept things the way things are. She also told me she did not buy her textbooks yet because she got a new “Cellular Plan” that added 100 more minutes. Sis Boom Rah for you sweetie!
My mother tells me “it must be nice to think everything has the possibility to be ideal.” What is wrong with wanting things to be unrefined? What is wrong with blue? Now it has to be azure, cerulean, sapphire, turquoise are some BS like that. Why can’t we take something natural and appreciate it without having to give it bigger boobs or dye it?
What I want to know is when did humans start becoming androids? Everyday the dimwits that drive in the North End reaffirm the selfishness that makes me want to go back to my mothership. It is my understanding that when I got my driver’s license I was agreeing to follow ALL the rules in the Idaho Driver’s Manual. Not just the ones I thought were good ideas or fit into my schedule. Here are the rules stated in said manual about bicycle’s rights:
Chapter 12
Bicycles
They must yield to any vehicle that presents a hazard
(Which is all of them) But after slowing to a reasonable speed may cautiously make a turn or go on through the intersection. (This is why white lines at stop signs and stoplights are not optional). A bicyclist approaching a red light must stop before entering the intersection. HOWEVER, after slowing to a reasonable speed and yielding the right of way, a bicyclist may cautiously make a right hand turn without stopping, or make a left-hand turn into a one-way roadway without stopping (This is why right on reds are legal but not REQUIRED.)
A couple of things not mentioned but make sense to me are that bike lanes are for bikes. They are not extended parallel parking. And yes, you do need to look before you open your car door next to a bike lane because some poor saps actually ride their bike to work because they enjoy it.
Perhaps I am bitter. I was hit by a car two years ago and racked up a $4,000 bill with St. Luke’s because the car did not stop. Not even when my hip cracked did they brake. Probably better thought that they did not stop because I would have probably gotten a ticket for damaging their precious car. To hell with my body!
So, I guess the “cheap question” this week is how cheap do we think humans are?
The cheap Megan Marchetti can be reached at chettijr@yahoo.com